


the open (elevator) door

by zedille



Series: x-men humor fics (marya mia!) [1]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, I'm just waiting to be flamed now tbh, Parody, Pastiche, References to My Immortal, Sort Of, X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014), dadneto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21774703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zedille/pseuds/zedille
Summary: Peter's big scene in DOFP, if it were set toMy Immortalinstead.
Series: x-men humor fics (marya mia!) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1472825
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	the open (elevator) door

Hi my name is Peter Pie'tro Quicksilver Leif Magnusson Maximoff and I have longish silver hair (that's how I got my name) with gray streaks and faded tips and icy gray eyes under my goggles and a lot of people tell me I look like Evan Peters (AN: if u don't know who he is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to this guy I just broke out of a highly secure facility but I wish I was because he's a big fucking deal even if he doesn't know karate. I'm a mutant but I'm not blue or scaly or hairy. I have pale white skin. I spend most of my time in my mother's basement in Virginia, where I'm a teenage delinquent (I'm sixteen). I'm quick (in case you couldn't tell) and I always wear silver. I love the mall and I steal all my stuff from there. For example today I was wearing a silver jacket, a Pink Floyd T-shirt, black pants, and matching silver boots. I had three Twinkies and some Ding Dongs in my pockets. I was running around under the Pentagon. I was in quicktime so there were no humans to stop me, which I was very happy about. 

A lot of prison guards stared at me. I taped them to the walls.

And then ... the elevator door opened.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKER!"

It was .... the headmaster of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters!

**Author's Note:**

> Erik is a motherfuker in the literal sense, since he had relations with Peter's mother (ʘ‿ʘ✿)
> 
> Happy Friday the 13th, a date which is much more goffik than Peter, despite his best efforts!


End file.
